"Nothing that we despise in the other man is entirely absent from ourselves. We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or don't do, and more in light of what they suffer."
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German pastor executed for his opposition to the Nazi party.
Over the last 20 years, there has been a substantial increase in the percentage of churchgoers who have heard a sermon about homosexuality, with more than 2/3 of attenders in evangelical churches recalling such sermons. Although most Christians say they are concerned about homosexual lifestyles, just 4% of Americans (and 10% of born-again Christians) say they have engaged in any other nonpolitical means of addressing what they perceive to be a problem. Only 1% of Americans say they pray for homosexuals; a similarly miniscule proportion say they address the issue by donating money to organizations that help people dealing with that lifestyle or that they try to have meaningful discussions with people about it. This information was derived from a random, representative sample of 1,007 adults, among whom more than 600 said that the homosexual lifestyle is a problem facing America. As people described what they thought would help, just one respondent offered the word love as a potential solution. One other survey participant suggested "being sympathetic." Simply put, Christians think there is a problem but have no idea what to do about it.
But why is there so much attention on homosexuality? Why do we shine the spotlight on this issue? I find it ironic that so many are quick to point out the sin of homosexuality and its connection to AIDS but will gladly overlook the sin of obesity, which is directly linked to the disease of diabetes. If we are compelled to deal with homosexuality in the way the Bible does, we must deal with it as we would any other sin. One of the main reasons that Christians have such a negative perception stems from our hyper-concern for morality. Instead of expressing what true Christianity is all about, we have put the cart before the horse and further alienate the people we should care for the most.
We can't deal with sin apart from Christ. If people don't know Christ, they are incapable of dealing with their own sin. The Bible is clear: homosexual practice is inconsistent with Christian discipleship, but it is not the only thing that is inconsistent. Everyone of us, gay, straight, transgender, etc., expresses sexuality in broken ways. We must stop identifying people as "sexual beings" and instead identify them as "human beings." There is not a special judgment for homosexuals, and there is not a special righteousness for heterosexuals. God often allows us to learn just as much as we travel our chosen paths as we would have if we had walked only his lighted portions. It would be dishonest for me to pretend I agree or understand people that choose the lifestyle of homosexuality, which they believe is right, but I accept that they are free to choose their own life course. This is not because I'm especially generous, but because God is. For all of us, our only hope for the fracture in our soul is the cross of Christ.
I remember my own struggle with homosexuality throughout my high school years. I recall feeling so much anger and confusion, so much despair and loneliness. What brought me through it all, what helped me to overcome my struggle wasn't sermons on homosexuality, Christians that loudly voiced the sin of an alternative lifestyle, it was friends and family who loved me for who I was, my brother Raffy, whom I followed around so much growing up, who taught me how to play basketball, be cool, who always reminded me that I mattered, that I belonged. Most of my family and friends had no idea that I was struggling with homosexuality, and even some are unaware of my past struggle. But little did they know that their genuine love and acceptance they showed towards me, led me to find redemption and restoration in Christ.
In any struggle we have, I believe that the best way to help someone overcome, is not to point out the struggle, the sin, the flaw, but to love someone with God's love, that overlooks errors and shortcomings, and saturates a person's entire being with intimacy and acceptance. Love the hell out of people.
2 comments:
Interesting post that hits on something that's always bothered me about many Christians - how judgmental they are of those that don't conform to their own beliefs. I've never understood how self-righteousness and judgmentalism (is that a word? It is now) can go hand in hand with strong Christian beliefs.
... I'm a bisexual teenager who sat through these sermons and always felt like crying. I've never had a girlfriend or anything like a sexual relationship with a girl, But I did cheat on my Ex with a girl. My Ex boyfriend, you knew him, that guy with the last name Horney, he would always preach to me about how homosexuality was wrong, he would always say that gay men were wrong, esspecially after he got into the church again. But his whole outlook changed when I told him I'd kissed a girl, that I was Bi/ immediatly afterword, her couldn't stop saying how amazing I was, that we were going to be really happy, he tried to get me to praticipate in a threesome with another girl! this guy, who said that it was all wrong could except the truth if he was getting some! I couldn't believe it, the way people would treat me, I told another girl and she ignored me completely... I never knew why. I felt so bad, but was it my fault? was I so bad just because I felt a different way? I always thought that if god meant me to be perfect, then I would but I was always such a disappoint, thats how I felt, a dissappointment and an eyesore to the church and what IT stood for... It scard me, but I can't change who I am or what I did, and I still feel that way, even though I have my boyfriend now, who treats me better, who accepts me for that, but thats not my point. I've wandered, I don't even remember what my point is... it seems some of the most 'christian' people I knew either could not deal with me, or didn't care after I knew what felt right to me, but I don't feel like I or my friends need to be forgiven for who we are, or our struggles... does it really matter who I love? aren't i still a good person, anyway? I don't know what I'm saying anymore...
-kiley
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